Double Dare You!

Wishful thinking... wont' be long; it's almost time!  Photo by Timothy Schildknecht

                                                                                                                                                               

Every morning that I wake up and choose to do what's best for my body and spirit, choose to welcome change and growth no matter what that means, choose what's right in spite of what the world says, I feel like I'm living a tremendous dare.
It's frightening and exhilarating all in the same moment.


I've made several commitments to myself over the past few months, all leading toward better health in body and mind.
Have I made mis-steps along the way? Of course I have.
Have I felt my spirit lagging throughout these trials and changes? Most certainly.
But every day, I get up and start all over again.
In every moment, I try to choose what's best.


I wish to continue to dare to commit to this quest...every moment of every day.
Who's with me?


As many of you may know, I have suffered for years with several ailments, including lupus, multiple food allergies, diabetes, fibromyalgia and depression. The latest---strange digestive anomalies that have defied diagnoses.
Realizing that I had to take responsibility for my own healing, I've made many changes in diet and lifestyle, and have committed to 6 months with the lovely Kristi Skiles-Hyllen of Kitchen Witch Coaching. 
I'm in the process of setting up a second blog devoted to sharing useful information with others in similar circumstances, while documenting my progress.
Watch here for an announcement when it's ready to publish.

Yeah, Yeah.. It's Tuesday....

Hannah doodled this lovely creature from
one of my cast-off portraits.
Wonder what she's trying to represent here?
Rage, depression, contempt?
Is this how my family sees me?
YIKES!

and I am not feeling myself today.
So I suppose that the awful UN-self-portrait is appropriate today.
This one was actually done by my youngest daughter. She snagged one of my self-portrait blanks and this was what she came up with. Unngh....

Changes in health, medication adjustments, changes in my body that appear to be beyond my control, changes in weather....
And FAR too much to catch up with have left me feeling....well....a lot like that creature that Hannah drew.

Instead of finishing a piece I intend to submit to a magazine (due Friday), or making a baby quilt (due before the baby actually gets here!), OR creating something of some substance for our wedding anniversary (which is Thursday---I've been married to that Canadian for 6 years!),
I've moped and slept today.

Patience is not what I'm known for, especially patience with myself.
At this point, I am in a position that I vowed I would never be in.
I hate taking pharmaceuticals in the first place, and stayed off them as long as I possibly could.
First it was meds for the diabetes.
Now it's meds for the fibromyalgia, but one of them is causing my blood sugar to spike, which means taking more of the other to compensate for the damage this one is causing.
I SWORE, after watching too many members of my family balance medications (for things that I thought they should just take responsibility for) that this would never happen to me.
Not only do I feel WAY out of sorts today, I am angry with myself.

It's Tuesday.
I posted a self portrait, as I'd committed to.
Now I think I'll go back into my lair and curl up under the covers.