Feeling Exposed...

My final BIG project, an 8'x4' goddess
Big Blue in all her glory

Hey Hey Hey, Moon Mama is featured as a guest post-er over at Dirty Footprints Studio today!
Pop on over there and check it out!

I really can't say enough about the BIG experience...I've only shared just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.
I didn't share so much about it here while I was participating; the experiences and processes were almost sacred, and I felt the need to contain them and digest them either alone or within the BIG Tribe.

Now that I've been outed, and my Big Blue Goddess has gone public, I'll be sharing more....
how she came to be, and how my life has changed since.

Stepping Into ME

Me, glowing and electric today

What do I wish to step into, Jamie asks, catching me mid-stride.
How convenient!

I'm stepping....I have been stepping....taking small, even lazy, baby steps...but for the last few weeks, I have been making strides.
I have been stretching past my limits.
I have been learning to step into my potential, into my real life, into WHO I AM.

For the last five weeks, I have been participating in Dirty Footprints Studio's BIG--Fearless Painting.
Today I am beginning a bed-sheet sized painting, and I am not afraid.
In fact, I'm excited!
I'm feeling things-- energy, alive-ness, creativity--that I haven't in a long, long time.
And it feels good.

So thank you Connie.
And thanks for asking, Jamie.
I wish to continue stepping .... moving forward.....stepping into MYSELF.

My First BIG Mystical Experience

Today's BIG painting
Big, bold, beautiful

OK, so I've had my very first "mystical experience" with BIG.
Don't know what else to call it.

Oh, I've been listening all along; paintings have been telling me what they've wanted....been doing just fine with all that.
But today's painting....OMG people!

I recalled what Connie had said about this one, and I thought yeah, I can see where this one might kick my a**.

I put on some music. Today's selection--- Raquy and the Cavemen (LIFE-CHANGING music btw; thanks Christine at Bliss Chick. I could listen to Obama Ayub all day long...and dance!)

Painting and dancing, dancing and painting....a whole lotta shakin' goin' on up in my studio this morning!
I painted the pretty flowers...yep 5 years old.
Look at all the bright colors!

Stood back and waited.....listened.
It told me BLACK.
Black for my background.
Uhh...ok. That's maybe more like me at 12, but ok.
But no emotion, nothing unusual.
Some serious hip rotation while I listened for more.
If nothing else is moving, this body sure is!

Red dots.
On the black background.

Ummmm...yeah ok; I'll play along.
And that's when I heard it. LOUD AND CLEAR.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE INTERIOR SPACES. NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION TO THOSE LITTLE INTERIOR SPACES. IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO LOVE THEM AND FILL THEM UP.

Now THAT was unexpected!
Tears welled up, then rolled freely as I filled up the little interior spaces with red dots.
The metaphor was not lost on me.

I thought I was done. I got still and listened somemore.
Nope.

RED CANDY STRIPES ON THE FLOWER STEMS. NO ONE LOVES THEM AS MUCH AS THEY DO THE FLOWERS

I'd intended to paint all day, but I am spent after that revelation.

I gotta know.....anybody else had such dramatic ..... well....DRAMA while painting???
Especially you girls who've done BIG??
C'mon, 'fess up!
Or am I just crazy?!