Thursday, December 9, 2010

Feeling Exposed...

My final BIG project, an 8'x4' goddess
Big Blue in all her glory

Hey Hey Hey, Moon Mama is featured as a guest post-er over at Dirty Footprints Studio today!
Pop on over there and check it out!

I really can't say enough about the BIG experience...I've only shared just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.
I didn't share so much about it here while I was participating; the experiences and processes were almost sacred, and I felt the need to contain them and digest them either alone or within the BIG Tribe.

Now that I've been outed, and my Big Blue Goddess has gone public, I'll be sharing more....
how she came to be, and how my life has changed since.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Transformation....Head First!

~Our homely tree~
It bears an uncanny resemblance to Salad Fingers...

Seems everything is going through a transformation of sorts these days.
My home is being transformed as we being re-arranged to make room for all of our beloved Christmas decorations and a kitchen covered with a fine dusting of confectioner's sugar and flour as I create, from gingerbread houses to chocolate covered cherries.

We ourselves are being transformed in both mind and body, transmuted through the fires of adversity, learning as we go.

This Wishcasting Wednesday, dear Jamie asks "what do you wish to transform"?
Would it be too trite to answer with "my life"?
I pondered this question as I herded the kids out the door for school.
A more accurate response, after consideration, would have to be "my mind".
After all, what transformation could be accomplished in a body, in a life, without first a transformation of the mind?

Catching up on my email earlier this morning, I discovered this post from yesterday's Positive Thoughts. Slowly read and digest these words from the Dalai Lama regarding transformation and the mind---

The source and cause of peace and happiness is the mind.

Both positive and negative experiences arise from the mind, depending on whether your mind is transformed or not. Therefore, it is most important to control and discipline the mind.

All the fears and the immeasurable suffering that we encounter arise from the mind. The Buddha taught that there is no enemy more powerful than the mind. In all the realms of existence, there is nothing more frightful—nothing more to be feared than the mind. Likewise, he said that the disciplined mind gives rise to all excellent qualities. The source and cause of peace and happiness is the mind. Happiness arises from virtuous practice; sufferings arise from negative practice.

So happiness and suffering depend upon whether your mind is transformed or not. Even in the short term, the more you control and discipline your mind, the happier and more relaxed you will be.

Once the mind within is controlled and relaxed, even if the whole universe appears to turn on you like an enemy, you will not feel threatened or unhappy. On the other hand, if you are internally disturbed and agitated, even if the most delicious food is laid out on the table in front of you, you will not enjoy it. You may hear pleasant things, but they will bring you no joy. So, depending on whether your mind is disciplined or not, you will experience happiness or suffering.

Although my body is dealing with much less pain these days, I am struggling with some bizarre health issues. I may have mentioned my multiple food allergies before. My doctor has now suggested that I might be allergic to myself.
I thought that was the very nature of lupus... the body rejecting parts of itself as foreign, so I'm not entirely sure what this newest development means.
The possible medical treatments--- years of Prednisone (No.) or chemotherapy (NO.)
I'm scheduled for an esophageal biopsy on Monday to see just what's going on in there.

I'd have to be oblivious to miss the self-rejection that this condition must represent.
And I certainly realize that a total transformation of my mind is in order. But where to start....?

And so Dear Friends, I'd ask you to wish with me today (I believe I heard somewhere that, astrologically, today is the day to ask)
I'm wishing for answers. I'm wishing for help. And I'm wishing for support on that path to total transformation.
I know I can count on all of you to send your love my way, and for that I am so, so grateful today!
Thank you, and blessings to you all!