Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Yeah, Yeah.. It's Tuesday....

Hannah doodled this lovely creature from
one of my cast-off portraits.
Wonder what she's trying to represent here?
Rage, depression, contempt?
Is this how my family sees me?

and I am not feeling myself today.
So I suppose that the awful UN-self-portrait is appropriate today.
This one was actually done by my youngest daughter. She snagged one of my self-portrait blanks and this was what she came up with. Unngh....

Changes in health, medication adjustments, changes in my body that appear to be beyond my control, changes in weather....
And FAR too much to catch up with have left me feeling....well....a lot like that creature that Hannah drew.

Instead of finishing a piece I intend to submit to a magazine (due Friday), or making a baby quilt (due before the baby actually gets here!), OR creating something of some substance for our wedding anniversary (which is Thursday---I've been married to that Canadian for 6 years!),
I've moped and slept today.

Patience is not what I'm known for, especially patience with myself.
At this point, I am in a position that I vowed I would never be in.
I hate taking pharmaceuticals in the first place, and stayed off them as long as I possibly could.
First it was meds for the diabetes.
Now it's meds for the fibromyalgia, but one of them is causing my blood sugar to spike, which means taking more of the other to compensate for the damage this one is causing.
I SWORE, after watching too many members of my family balance medications (for things that I thought they should just take responsibility for) that this would never happen to me.
Not only do I feel WAY out of sorts today, I am angry with myself.

It's Tuesday.
I posted a self portrait, as I'd committed to.
Now I think I'll go back into my lair and curl up under the covers.

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